summary of the month

Called Mom & sisters over the Chinese New Year weekend,
didn't miss home that much though. Still hard to believe that my eldest sister are now a proud grandmother of three - a little boy and a set of twin girl.
She and the other sisters used to tell me all the time how they pleaded with Dad not to give me away because i was such adorable baby.
Maybe that's why i'm so close to my sisters, and its always nice to hear their voices over the phone.
Finally, after months of uncertainty we are now back on track - i am going home...just that 'home" is now a little foreign to me!

I am here

I don’t know if things will get any better or worse?
Should I be keeping quiet or keep fighting this curse?
Someday it’s manageable another day I caved
I think I no longer care as I comb my thick black hair
I just want to disintegrate into the thin air

Yet there’s this whisper in my ear
I AM* here
There’s some thing worth fighting for
The sun is shining and the sky is blue
You are worth more than the sparrows and the lilies of the field
The sun is shining and the skies are blue
You are worth more than the sparrows and the lilies of the field


*Exodus 3:14 “I AM THE ONE WHO ALWAYS IS”

Psalm 18:16-19 (the message)

16But me he caught--reached all the way from sky to sea;
he pulled me out of that ocean of hate,
17that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning.
18They hit me when I was down but GOD stuck by me.
19He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved--surprised to be loved!

beauty exposed / El Shaddai

desperate and helpless
drown in my perverted nature
in total depravity
like the trees
stripped of their glorious autumn colors
stark-naked

but here in lies the beauty of it all
You see past my shortcomings,
my misplaced affections and worldly pretense
and amidst the ugliness of self,
the jewel made in Your Image
You love me just as i am

there's nothing i can do to gain Your love
nor anything i can do to forfeit it
I need You
and even before the words are formed in my mouth
i'm in the Arms of Love
the apple of Your eye


Psalm 16:2 "....apart from you i have no good thing."

Samuel Menashe

my mother once said to me,
when one sees the tree in leaf one thinks
the beauty of the tree is its leaves,
and then one sees the bare tree.

Are we there yet?

All of us are heading somewhere
In a fast car on the highway
Or trotting down the narrow path
You are on your way
Do you know where you are going?

We drink and make merry
Live life to its fullest
We moan and groan, happy or sad
We love and hate, grief rivers of tears
And ask like a child, "Are we there yet?"

We will reach our destination somehow
Some sooner then others
With peacefull anticipation or unexpected departure
Into the light or darkness
The markers are clear whichever way you travel

Still yet for some
*Wait un‘til the sun turns black
the moon all bloody, the sky rolls up
and stars fall off to the earth
"Yes, I'’m on my way! I'’ll be there soon!..." Rev.7:12

*Revelations 6:12-14

tell me

why
up the ladder is heaven
and spiral
downward is hell?

all i know is
wherever i go you'll be there
why
would you care?*

should i dare
to go on my own way
even then
you are never faraway!

* Psalm 8: 3-4

Rock of Ages

took this picture at Detroit Metro Airport...
"you are beautiful"
was just what i needed to hear after traveled all day,
exhausted and feeling rotten inside,
and that's God and His sense of humor!
first - the one and a half hour drive to the airport,
then the endless waiting in lines for check in and
immigration clearance and the 8 hours flight back to States,
not too bad to end the year -
(about 5 hours lay over at Detroit,
2 more hours on the plane and got back home just after midnight),
well, when one get to sleep in ones own bed -
it's certainly a good start to the New Year!
Happy New Year.

Hebrew 12:2 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..."